Losing intimacy in your marriage can for some be the beginning of the end of your relationship. Intimacy is something we all need in a relationship even though it means different things to different people. Even if you and your partner have different love languages or don’t even know what your languages are, in which case this book would be helpful https://relationshiprevitalization.com/5 Love Languages, intimacy is needed by all. We will discuss some ways we have used to help reintroduce intimacy in our own relationship as well as things we have learned from others to help end your intimacy woes.

  1. SPEND TIME TOGETHER

This is a no brainer for many, but it is so extremely important depending on your relationship dynamics. Obviously if you’re in a long-distance relationship and this happens spending time together will be more difficult physically, but these couples often have already developed their own dynamic to promote relationship intimacy from a distance by spending time together in their way so do more of that. The connection can be regenerated by taking the time to be in each other’s company as much as possible. The households of today are commonly made up of two working adults so time spent together can be sparse, so making time together can put you back on the road to closeness once again.

  • POSITIVELY COMMUNICATE

Notice this sub-heading wasn’t just simply titled talk. All interactions between you and your partner are some form of communication every single one. The key is understanding that talking is not the only form of communication, but it is an important one. Knowing your relationship dynamic is king here so communicate in the ways that work for your relationship as long as it’s positive will go a long way toward regaining your intimacy. It is also important to know that having a tough conversation about problems in your relationship that can get heated at times can still very much be a positive communication especially if you’re accustomed to not talking about the issues at hand. We think you will find that things will likely seem much more unified after getting things out in the open even if you don’t actually have a resolution as of yet. Please make note that research says most arguments never get completely settled, however the ones that are never discussed are the true dangerous ones. So, communicate about your differences and your intimacy will be better for it.

  • HAVE FUN

On the surface this seems like an easy one, but when the intimacy is gone many couples will find this hard to do at times. We tend to have fun when we’re comfortable and a loss of intimacy can definitely make for many uncomfortable moments. When the intimacy is lacking the timing in our relationships can be off. The moments when intimacy is great the little voice that says kiss at certain moments feels natural and easy. When intimacy is missing then that voice is now saying, “Should I?” The great thing about having fun though is there are no parameters. Fun is whatever you make it, your relationship fun does not have to look like another couple’s fun. Simply have fun it can be something old or something new just have fun and your relationship vehicle can be finally on the road to regained intimacy.

  • STOP THINKING ABOUT SEX

We know we’re hearing crickets right now and the earth has shattered for all of you, trust us you will be ok. Many people mistakenly confuse sex with intimacy as if they are one in the same. Sex can be a part of intimacy, but intimacy is so much bigger than sex. We can also advise you that when you’re trying to get intimacy back in your relationship having sex early in that journey can be off putting for one or both of you. We’re not saying don’t have sex that is for you to decide and you will know when it’s right. We are saying don’t have sex as the goal in your quest for intimacy even if not having sex enough was one of your relationship issues. In many cases not having enough sex is simply a symptom of the bigger problem of not having intimacy. When intimacy is in its proper place you will not be lacking sexual interactions largely because you both will want to have sex more now that intimacy has returned. So, stop worrying about having sex like our own take on the Field of Dreams classic line says, “If you build intimacy, sex will come.”   

Hopefully this will help your relationship on its journey. The most important thing to take away from this is that lost intimacy is not a death sentence for your relationship but ignored lost intimacy can be. Intimacy is at the heart of connection and closeness in your relationship. There is no one road to having great intimacy in your relationship because achieving intimacy can be different for different people. For some it can be security as a major component, for some it could be companionship the bottom line is to seek it out and it can be found. We hope these tips can help you find what was once lost.

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